Fuck that shit.

Today at work I had a pretty bad customer. We'll call her Ms. Cunty McBitchPants.
Lunch time had just started, and we had gotten fairly busy. Not too much (it's a Tuesday after all), but enough to create about two lines. As I'm doing my thing, Ms. Cunty McBitchPants comes over to my register. I serve her, all the while asking myself if she has some kind of weird muscular disease that makes it impossible for her to smile. Ms. Cunty McBitchPants ordered a Seared Sweet Chili Wrap combo with a Sprite for the drink. In those exact words: a Seared Sweet Chili Wrap combo. Combo. So I got her Sprite, got her kid's Happy Meal, her wrap and her fries. As I put the fries on the tray she looks at me like I suddenly turned into some kind of horrifying looking, foul smelling monster and says:
- I didn't order that. - pointing at the fries.
- Well, you ordered a Sweet Chili wrap combo, it comes with fries and a drink.
- I ordered a Sweet Chili wrap Weight Watchers meal. - (here is when her nostrils started flaring).
- Ok, let me just get you my manager for a refund, I thought you had said combo. - which I KNOW she did.
- NO - she screams - I said I wanted a Weight Watchers meal!
Ok, now listen. If your life is so miserable that being right about ordering something on McDonald's (even though she wasn't) is so important that you have to scream at the teenager serving you, my condolences. If it is in fact so crucial to your well-being that you're ok doing it in front of your child, that's none of my business. Just know that if I weren't working, and if my Restaurant Manager wasn't right there, I would've shouted so many insults at you that your head would've exploded simply because you're brain cannot process so much offense at any one time. Cunt.
So I ask my manager to do her a refund, take her fries away and hide behind the fry dispenser until she's gone, before going back to my register to keep serving people.
Five minutes later, however, there she is. Walking towards me with the tray in her hands, the wrap opened and it's contents all over the place. As she walks in a straight line, headed to me, with fire in her eyes, I feel my stomach jump. Oh Lord, I do not want to deal with this.
- Can I help ma'am?
- This is a Caesar wrap! I wanted the Sweet Chili wrap! - and then she throws the tray on the counter in front of me.
LEARN HOW TO READ YOU FUCKED UP STUPID CUNT. And to smile for that matter. It says pretty clearly on the wrap 'Sweet Chili' or 'Caesar'. They're even different colours. Maybe whoever put the wrap in your tray was too busy to notice, but you took it to your table, had time to look at it, figure out that it wasn't what you wanted and bring it back in a decent state. But because you're such an unpolite asshole, you just HAD to open that shit and throw it at my face.
Honestly, I don't deserve this kind of shit. I didn't fuck her order up on purpose. I didn't even make any mistakes. I wasn't anything but nice and polite to her, but for some reason she thinks she has the right to be a rude little piece of shit to me. Fuck you, Ms. Cunty McBitchPants. Fuck you with something hard and sand-papery.

Not all customers are bad though. One of my regulars gave me a chocolate egg today. And chocolate makes everything better, right?