Thursday, 28 April 2011

Maccas shenanigans

So yeah, I still work at McDonald's. As Rebecca Black would put it, 'fun, fun, fun'. Now, people don't really give Maccas workers all the credit that is due. It's not a particularly challenging job, but it does take a lot from you. Depending on how many hours you are working, it can be fairly exhausting, and the inane repetition gets old very quickly. So, in order to amuse myself, I have come up with a few little things to do at work.

1. Pointlessly flirt with unassuming co-workers.
New Zealand is a great country, but it suffers from one crucial issue: jailbait. Where I come from, people mostly look their age. A 16 year old looks like a kid, a 19 year old looks twinky, a 25 year old looks ready for business and a 40 year looks just sad. You know, how things are supposed to be. New Zealand people, however, do not apply. I work with a fair amount of 17~19 year olds, and as creepy as it sounds, they're pretty damn hot. So whenever I'm bored (which is fairly often) and one of them is around, I practice my flirting techniques. Nothing too out there (specially cause pretty much all of them are straight), just small things, like giving them a coy smile from across the restaurant, giggling at their stupid jokes or bending to get something from the cupboard and giving them a view of the good china.
Yeah, I'm a perv. Sue me.

2. Guessing what people are gonna order.
That's one I got down to a fine art. People are surprisingly transparent when it comes to their fast-food preferences. For example: kids up to 9~11 years old will always get a Happy Meal; Old people always get either a white coffee or a white tea, and if I don't give them a tray, they will always ask for one; teenagers add mayo to everything; when a family comes to order the father will always ignore my existence and tell his wife what he wants. She then proceeds to tell me he wants a large combo with an extra burger on the side (usually a Filet), her kids will either get Happy Meals or normal combos (with mayo added to the burgers) and she'll get either a wrap or a medium McChicken combo with Diet Coke.
Apart from what I learned from working there for so long, quite usually I'll be serving them and just guess what drink they want before they ask for it. I'm kind of a fast-food psychic.

3. Dance.
A recent one. Whenever I'm working out back making the burgers, if there's nothing to do and no one to talk to, I'll just start getting down and dirty next to the grills. Me and my friend Denim will every now and then have some good 5 minutes of move busting before one of the managers comes to tell us off.

Y'know, as much as I bitch about it, I actually like my job.

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Don't mix money and friends.

I could do a post about it, but the title pretty much says it all. Just don't.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Britney Spears doesn't exist.

So, I was listening to Til The World Ends by the aforementioned Ms. Spears just before. Good song, pretty awesome imagery on the video, same old same old. As I was listening (and awkwardly dancing along), I went on wikipedia and started reading about her new album, Femme Fatale. While reading the critical response to the album, something stood out. Pretty much every critic that didn't like the album pointed out that Britney's voice is what makes the least difference in the album, being utterly unremarkable and heavily auto-tuned. Now, I'm not gonna go all crazy Britney fan on you guys, but I say, so what? The songs are still good, what difference does it make if she's singing them or not?
The way I see it, Britney, for all the shit she does and her unmatched talent to embarrass herself, sells. Her songs ARE good. They're good, honest, unashamed pop. But as opposed to Gaga, Madonna or others like them, Britney's songs don't have anything to do with the art of music. Britney is not an artist. I daresay she's not a singer. She's image. Not even a image, but just image. Her producers literally made the Britney that's on magazines, on the cover of albums, "singing" her songs. The real Britney is that chick going to the store at 4 am to get some Cheetos.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Truth be told, one of the reasons why I love Gaga is because she is truly artistic. She is very much a singer, very much a composer, very much a performer. She's talented, trained and capable, and I love that. But Britney (the image of Britney at least) has her merits too. She has released 7 albuns, and not a single one of them hasn't got at least one song that we all know. Most of us probably know the songs by heart. There's no denying, bitch is good at making pop songs. Even if it isn't her making them.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

An argument.

I've been watching a lot of The Big Bang Theory lately, and it tends to bring out my geeky side. So yeah.


- Ok, Jean Grey versus Galactus. Who would win?
- Well, technically that wouldn't be possible. Jean Grey became the White Phoenix of the Crown and now resides on the White Hot Room, so even if Galactus were to attack Earth she wouldn't intervene.
- Just go with it.
- Ok, are we talking Ultimate universe Jean Grey, or Earth 616 Jean Grey?
- 616.
- And are we talking Jean Grey the Phoenix, or just Jean Grey the mutant?
- It doesn't make any difference. Death itself stated that Jean is the rightful host of the Phoenix, so they are essentially the same being.
- Fair enough. Well, I'd say Galactus. He's immenselly powerful and has destroyed countless planets.
- What? That's bullshit. The Phoenix has the power to obliterate anything that's alive and bring back anything that has died. She would kill the shit out of Galactus.
- Well, Galactus is not exactly alive, he's one of the Forces of the universe.
- Nah, that doesn't work. What make Galactus so scary is that he just goes around eating planets. If he eats planets he needs sustenance. If he needs sustenance, the lack of it would kill him, therefore making him alive. And if he's alive, the Phoenix can kill the shit outta him, like I said.
- But Jean is an X-Men, and X-Men don't kill.
- I'm pretty sure that if she had to choose between killing Galactus or watching the whole planet be destroyed, she would go with the first one. Besides, this whole "X-Men don't kill" thing doesn't even work anymore. Ever since Cyclops took over he hasn't shied away from getting rid of opponents he thinks are just too dangerous. Just look at X-Force.
- Well, flawed as Cyclops may be, the X-Men motto still applies. If it didn't, Beast wouldn't have left after Nightcrawler died and he learned about the clandestine missions that the X-Force were doing.
- I miss Nightcrawler.
- Me too. What's with Marvel getting rid of all the cool mutants? First they make Jean stay dead for years, then they kill Kitty Pryde, and now Nightcrawler.
- Hmm, Kitty didn't die. Magneto brought back the bullet she was riding on, and now she's being kept at the laboratory underneath the X-Men base in San Francisco.
- Yeah, I know that. But now that she's permanently stuck in her phase mode and can't talk, move or anything like that it's like she's still dead.
- I suppose... God, you're such a nerd.
- You're one to talk.


I didn't make anything up btw. I just know more about X-Men than I care to admit most times.