School holidays are over. Thank God.
You see, the McDonald's I work at is tiny. Very tiny. It's in a mall's foodcourt, so all we get is this itsy bitsy store, with the kitchen taking 3/4 of it, and next to no space between the counter and the drinks tower, food bin, ice cream machine, etc. Which is usually fine, seeing that in a normal day we won't have more than 5 people working at the counter at any given time. On the school holidays, however, demand is insane, which makes the managers think that it is somehow possible to fit 11 people on a 1x4m space. So if some fucker decides they want a Frozen Coke and Large Fries, I have to dodge a sea of stressed co-workers to go from the slushy machine to the fry station at the other end of the store, all the while bumping into everyone and practically feeling the heat of hatred they emanate. So, needless to say, after 7 hours of that bullshit I'm usually not feeling so peachy. And that's when he comes.
With half an hour left of my shift, the only thing I can think about is the sweet, sweet comfort of my bed. I'm tired, my feet hurt, I'm stressed and if I have to bear through one more kid taking 40 minutes to decide if they want nuggets or a cheeseburger in their Happy Meal I might kill someone. So when Mr. SuperFunnyAsianMan comes in I just ignore my sore cheeks, put in a robotic smile and greet him the same way I greet everyone else. He proceeds to order a medium combo with a Sprite. And then it comes. The stupid, unfunny, pointless and completely idiotic joke:
- Sprite for the drink. But just one cube of ice. (And here he smiles like he just realized he's the funniest man alive, like he's gonna go home, sell everything he has and move to LA to become a stand-up comedian.)
Now, the thing is, I am a nice person. I'm polite, I don't really argue with people and I usually deal with these situations by giving my stupid customer a little laugh and running away before they decide to start talking again. Not this time. All I managed was to get rid of my smile, shoot a look of complete and utter disgust for his existence and ask in the most impatient tone possible "Anything else?".
You're not funny, Mr. SuperFunnyAsianMan. You're joke is stupid, and to think that you somehow got the idea that it would amuse me only makes me think that you have some kind of brain damage. Did you not figure out while waiting for 10 minutes in line and watching me run around bumping into people, juggling drinks in my hands and looking at kids with death in my eyes that maybe I'm not up for a laugh right now? Did you not notice the other 10 people behind you who just wanted you to get your fucking McChicken combo and go away so they could get some food themselves? And if you did, why the fuck would you think it appropriate to joke around with your server? This is fast-food, asshole, and every minute of my time you waste with your inane remarks only makes the people behind you wait longer, making them angrier, making me having to deal with angry, hungry customers. I don't like angry, hungry customers, Mr. SuperFunnyAsianMan. And I don't like you for putting me in a position where I have to deal with them. So keep your fucking jokes to yourself, order your food, take it and get the fuck away from me before I go into a temporary fit of insanity and stab your eyeballs with a straw.
Ok, maybe I'm overreacting. But after the millionth time some jerk decides that Maccas is his stage and I'm the captive audience for his comedy routine I just can't deal with it anymore.
I did end up putting only one cube of ice in his Sprite. I may be homicidal, but I still make sure I'm doing my job.
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